Jessica Wakeman

29, New York City

Staff blogger for .


Panda and babaganoush enthusiast.

Contact me at jessica.wakeman at or jessica at

"Feminist sex work excites me because I think it offers a response to both areas of concern in a practical, financially sustainable way … or it could. I don’t think anyone in the sex industry (even the feminist porn industry) could say honestly there’s nothing fucked up going on in some areas. We cannot be afraid of criticism. We should instead welcome it. We need to see being called out as a moment to check in with ourselves, to seek out the voices of the marginalized in our communities and to listen. We need to acknowledge that if we are genuine about wanting to hear from less privileged performers, we need to make it worth their while to take time off work to educate us (and yes, I mean pay them, among other things). I do not believe feminist porn or the sex worker rights movement as a whole will succeed if we do not create and encourage space for challenging discourse. …

'Why do you need me to be empowered or degraded in my work?' asks Christina Parreira, and it’s a good question. We don’t ask most employees to pick sides, because we understand that relationships to jobs are complex. We might like the money and hate our coworkers, or love our coworkers but hate the pay. We might love our work but hate the impact it has on our relationships. We might have fun sometimes, and wish we could be anywhere else at other times. Life’s complicated like that, especially under capitalism and patriarchy.”

— “The ’80s Called And They Want Their Sex Wars Back,” by Kitty Stryker, (via thefrisky)

I have mixed feelings about this article about Hugo Schwyzer in LA Mag. On the one hand, it’s well-researched and the best-documented piece that I’ve read cataloging all of Hugo Schwyzer’s lies and abuses. There had been so much that had been alluded to in tweets and in gossip, but I didn’t know details about. Taken altogether, it presents a much scarier picture than what had been floating around here and there. On the other hand, the two main women quoted are both white women bloggers/editors who already have prominent online platforms … which seems to miss the point many of Hugo’s critics had in the first place.

It didn’t matter how indie pornography helped me love my body and discover my talent for marketing. However empowering it was for me personally, I was (and am) restricted by the society we live in, one in which all porn performers are seen as simply sexual objects and helpless victims, mindless puppets duped by patriarchy. We do not live in a culture where any of that matters. What does matter is a media who will rush to tar and feather someone for engaging with the adult industry (or the company that employs them), particularly when the someone is a female sex worker.

I started out as a bright-eyed sex positive feminist who really believed that my body was mine to do with as I wished. I have learned, since, that it is not: my birth control choices are limited by class, my sex worker history limits my employability, my fatness limits my ability to be treated with respect. My body is under surveillance.

Is porn empowering for women? I want to say it is. Unfortunately, we still live under patriarchy, and any empowerment we gain from it is still restricted by our beliefs about “the whore.”

New York City Doesn’t Love You


Are you okay? Is New York getting to you? Are things not going according to plan?

Stop whining. For fuck’s sake. 

The plan you don’t plan for isn’t the plan you planned but it’s usually more original. Isn’t that why you moved to New York? To be original?

God, you didn’t move to play make-believe, did you?

Read More

Most authors have little to no say in how the books they write are marketed. Those decisions are made by highers-up at publishing companies, with the actual writer just hoping that their book will manage to somehow stand out from the pack of new releases. Choosing to boycott a book based on to whom it’s being marketed is kind of like boycotting a band based on who goes to their concerts – there is not much that the actual creator of the work can do. … Take, for example, the case of The Hunger Games. The three-book series was written by a woman (Suzanne Collins), featured a female protagonist (Katniss Everdeen), and was first marketed at the girls and young women who faithfully spend their more of their money on books than young men and boys do. Once enough young women and girls bought the books, they flew up the best-seller lists and mainstream publications were forced to take notice, especially after the Jennifer Lawrence-starring films made bank at the box office. But under the Independent’s logic, The Hunger Games isn’t worth writing about, because it was originally marketed toward girls.

— “Refusing To Review Books Marketed To One Gender Is Counterproductive,” by Lilit Marcus, (via thefrisky)